|Seamus, taken in 2005.|
In March, Seamus would have been 11 years old. Instead, I'll be remembering the anniversary of his death. You'd think these photos would make me happy, as they remind me of his healthier and happier days, but they still have the capacity to make me quite sad.
When this photo was taken, Seamus was still recovering from his mandibulectomy from his mouth tumor (I wrote about this extensively in this post, my first on this blog). I think he was 3 months post-op when this photo was taken. Over time, his gums and lips tightened and shrank, but he had quite a big lower lip here. And, there's a tiny drop of drool forming. He was a big drooler in those days.
And yet, he's incredibly dirty. He's got dirt in his eyes, in his ears, on his paws and in the white blaze on his forehead. I had forgotten what a mud-lover he was, and in these summer months, he would lie in the dirt in the garden for hours and hours.
Seeing these old photos just makes me miss him all the more, in part, because makes me remember what I am slowly forgetting. As time passes, the details blur and meld and he slips further and further from my grasp. It's painful. I'm hoping my computer has no more landmines as March draws near.